defying definition 

The first time we talked about it, was on a dock, in the rain. We had gone out to watch the sunset when a sudden squall came up behind us and we ended up laughing and drenched.

What are we? Where is this going?

I said why do we need to define it? Why can’t we just be? We will have adventures and see what unfolds.

But then he died and all of a sudden it matters that he had no label. Labels create expectations and pressures that we did not want – but labels also keep life tidy. 

I stumble when someone asks why I’m sad. Who died? For simplicity’s sake, I call him my boyfriend but that diminishes him somehow. Boyfriends seem temporary. Replaceable.

I was his bumblebee. His boo. His love.

He was my heartbeat. My tomorrow.

He was Sam to my Suzie. Which I suppose may make him my muskrat.

Maybe we don’t assign enough value to the simple word “friend.”

“Oh he/she is just a friend.”

Funny the things that bother you later.



4 thoughts on “defying definition 

  1. Your friends who are worthy of the term will understand. I have friends whose passing would devastate me more than much of my family. I think of them as part of my family, really. Your found family is the one you choose (and who choose you), whereas we have no choice about our biological family.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love my biological family, but there are a few I don’t like very much, and/or can only stand in controlled doses.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s